Sunday, May 31, 2009

I can't take it!

Gripping my text book,
I am angered to a bad level.
I feel like throwing it at someones head.
Making sure it will kill them.

If he wants to die,
then I will just jump off my roof tomorrow.
If she loves complaining about me so much,
then she can do the shit herself, ALONE.

He has angered me.
She has angered me.
I can't take it,

Kill them,
kill them all!!

I'll be happier,
I'll be dead.

Dysfunctional families,
I can not stand.
We should be smiling,
eating dinner together,
running in parks,
taking pictures of art.

We should be dancing in the streets,
washing each other's feet,
listening to music we love,
and getting along.

But instead we are...

fighting for hours,
yelling till we can no longer hear,
eating in separate rooms,
dancing with brooms,
singing sad songs to ourselves,
asking each other if we need help.

Calling each other pigs,
stepping on each other like twigs,
cursing each other out,
complaining about all the wrong things we do,
pushing each other away.

I can't take it anymore,
I can't take it anymore!

I want to run,
I want to scream,
I want to kill,
I want to die,
I want to curse,
I want to cry.

If I'm going to live this way for life,
then end my life now.
I won't be able to survive those harsh words,
won't be able to heal these bruises.

So come on!


You all are doing it now,
so let's see a real knife go through my heart,
a bullet go through my head,
some blood on the ground,


I'll be happy,
for once,
I'll be proud of us.

Because you worked together to slowly kill me.

Lower my self esteem,

make me feel like shit!


I can't take it anymore!!

So lets die with a promise of hated love, a soul so torn, ripped apart, and cold. Let us all sink into the blood of an innocent angel no longer angelic but not devilish as well. Make me bleed all the anger out and die to be happy and far away. Kill me, and the last thing you'll ever have to say to make me smile is...

I'm sorry, forever I'll love you, please stay.


Ok yer probably wondering what's goin on with story....

yah I gave up on it xD

HEY I warned you V_V wasn't gonna last long.

so yah. lots of stuff going on. sorry i haven't written iiiinnnn....3...2 days? I have no idea already o_o feels like months.


Update # 1:

I found out that Kelvin told two people my secret, on top of that they are two people I didn't want to tell just yet, because I wasn't sure if they are against it!

the little rat is asking for a beating, and he will soon get it. I'm going to have a real serious talk with him, because I'd like to know if he would like it if I told others he was bisexual just like he told me in the beginning of the year =___=

I've lost all trust for him. I should have never trust him anyway, considering he says a lot of shit when angry. One thing I've learned in life is not to gossip because it just causes problems. That's why I hate gossip whores and gossiping in general. Rumors spread and they are just lies from the truth.

SO...we'll see if the discussion of this problem will end this so called friendship for the rest of the year.


Update # 2:

I may be getting rid of my chihuahua Benji. He's adorable....but grandma can't take care of him for me...and I won't take care of him because I'm busy and lazy and get tired so easily lately.

So...he may go bye bye very soon :/

sadly T_T I wish I could keep him but...I won't be able to take care of him.

Update # 3:


My first class was Ms. Hanemann so I wonder if I'm getting her next with Ms. Walsh!

Would be awesome, cause they both rock.

Update # 4: Uncle is coming over today, makes me excited but worried, cause since parents are at it xD and dad said to mom to not come back anymore cause of argument they had that I don't feel like typing atm.

yup lots of shit o.o




thats it for updates xD

Wednesday, May 27, 2009














today was fun day I guess, mostly after school xD

I saw Michael in hall and called him into Kathe's office :O

after he came in (HAHAHAHA XDDDDDD LMAO) we just kept laughing so much at random shit XDDDD

oh gosh, my stomach is tired from laughing so much x'''''DDD just random shit we said and did.

AND THEN i asked what his last name was...cause I never found out...and...x''''''''DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD lmfao

His last name is Cumming XDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!! was so funny when he said. AT FIRST I THOUGHT HE SAID TUMKI I WAS LIKE WTF then he corrected XDDDD and I just literally ran out of room cracking up.

then kept laughing at him as he ate pretzel sticks (lmao pretzel sticks
BWAHAHA and stole 2 butterfinger chocolate candy bars from office (and literally the freshman student council xD)


OHH OHHH and today, i molested Kasha ;D lmao XD

literally slapped her ass, AND SHE SCREAMED AH SO LOUD AND WEIRD SOUNDED LIKE A MOAN XDDDDDDDD (I think she actually liked ;DDD xD)

kept grabbing her and pulling her over and hugging her and pretending to bite her neck x] in process i accidently stretched her shirt out xD cause she kept trying to get away.

in end i got to kiss her two times on cheek ;DDD made me happy lmao XD

SO YAH basically thats it XDDD many lolz and such.

not that interesting BUT WHATEVER 8D

oh and, atm I'm writing letter to principal about our bathroom issue

what i have so far :

Dear Ms. Kreisman,

There is a policy in the school about the usage of bathrooms for the students. We the students must go to the main office, sign our names in a notebook and put the time we got there to get the bathroom key, and when we finish getting to the bathroom and using it, we must go back to the office, return the key, sign the time we got back, then go back to class. Something had happened with certain students, I’m not sure what it was exactly, but I believe that if certain students did something, the whole student body should not be punished.

got lots more to write :O so I'm gonna continue.

Monday, May 25, 2009



"-looking out the window- ;-;" I drew him yaaay 8D not so great but whatever XD

Full Moon

People always asked,

"Why does he always look so cold?..."

I smiled to myself, watching them back up, almost as if in fear. Of course being different, they will back away. I never speak, I never communicate at all with the others. They are just as foreign to me as I am to them. I am the outcast in this class room, probably always will be.

There have been, unexpectedly, some girls come up to me, thinking I'm cool, and confessing their love. Always the same sentence, and always the same response between me and those girls.

"Uruha I-I really like you. I think you're so cool and layed back, w-would you..please go out with me?" The girl would say blushing as she looked down.

"....I'm sorry, but I'm staying out of relationships for a while now...I'm sorry to disappoint you." I would say, every time.

Why do they act so scared with friends when they actually like me?

I may never know, but it's funny, so I laugh.

Stepping in and out of classes, dismissal at 2:30 pm. I get bored, so soon as I am out of school, I am walking around the neighborhood. Usually around the park, or just up and down blocks. Sometimes I go home at 3 pm, sometimes I go home at 6 pm. As long as I'm home before 7 pm, I'm okay. Any later than that, I would have to inform my older sister. She's basically my guardian, since we left our parent's house because of our bipolar mother and father who did nothing when she hurt us. We don't bother calling them, or visiting. Because they didn't even care when we left. Our mother's exact words:

"Go ahead, leave, do us all a favor and die out there. No more headaches I have to deal with."

and I'm guessing you're wondering about my dad?

He just stood there behind mom, nodding at us to go, as if saying it's better this way. He was afraid of his own wife. All we could do was leave and be happy that we did. Sometimes I think of him...and wonder if he made it out alive. Made it out of that trap, those bars that held him back from saying anything to upset that woman. Even though he did nothing to protect us or even himself, I still pray for him. Mom may have been the worst...but dad was still caring and loving, when he could be.

A reason I never speak with because I feel I can never be like them. No matter what happens, they smile, they laugh, they make friends. I'm afraid they may never understand, or that they may shut me out more for saying why I'm always this way.

At the same time I want to go to them, tell them my name, smile, laugh with them, become their friend. I'm stuck in a hole, and I don't know the way out. I hope that one day, I will get the nerve to make contact with others, or someone will get the nerve to make contact with me.

Because I know...I can't go on living alone with the past.

CapriSun Wild Cherry Juice

CapriSun Wild Cherry Juice taste like...


blogger's bein an ass again with the font. (now apparently I'm typing with Arial? -_-)

ohhhh weeell, I got my alcohol tastin rum lookin juice to comfort me...for the time being.

Been doing stories with Waste and all, and it's kinda making me want to write a story of my own, just like I used to do waaay back before I got all depressed and shitty and ran out of ideas.

soooo yah....I guess in my next post I will start a story? o_O and I WARN PEOPLE NOW:

the story may last only the minutes I write it...and never appear again....

or it can last a few days or so, then disappear just when it's getting good.

that's the type of writer I am xD

that's why I stick more with poems, write, finished. Nothing going on for years or months, or weeks, or days, or hours xD

soooo I don't even know if I WILL write a story...but whatever, the things that I imagine when I listen to songs, I want to bring them out and show them! I wish the things I imagine will just appear on paper when I wanted xD would please me a whole lot.

I've been listening to the song -> Kill the Lights by: The Birthday Massacre

for hoooouuuurrssss and the things I imagine while listening to it just take me away from reality into my "peculiar world" as I call it.

x] It makes me happy inside.

And it sometimes makes me wish the different "me's" I imagine into some type of video or whatever in my mind, would become the real me. Because the "me's" I imagine, are kinda the type of girl I wish I was. I guess....Blink Pictures, Images and Photos

sooo...ON WITH THE IMAGINATION! embarassed Pictures, Images and Photos

Sunday, May 24, 2009


Family and Friends oveeerrrrr how awesoooooome.

My Brother - Billy
My Sister-in-law - Nicky (Nicolette)
My Niece - Destiny
My Mom and Dad's friend - Juni
My Mom and Dad's friend Juni's wife - Carmen

yaaaaaah o.o

I get easily bored with people from fam over, also with parent's friends xD

I would have rather gone somewhere with them. cause only person with me is niece and since she's 6 years younger, i easily get bored v.v and she gets upset. and I feel bad, and cycle goes round and round, over again and again.

and now my new puppy Benji is staring at his reflection in my mirror o.o.....
trying to interact with it....thinking it's another dog when it's him....


ahem, anyway.

i wanna go somewhere :/ or wish i was just alone in room with Benji...v.v

ah well, gotta appreciate family visits right V_V

bleh.....I'm tired of being inside, the most fun I had today was in car with dad going to pick my bro and his family up...


ok he stopped....o_o

>__> maybe i should've left him sleeping before taking him downstairs outside....

V___V''''' this is what happens when I'm bored.

and hot e_e''''''

but he's too cute to resist ;_; and now Billy (my bro -_-) says he's taking Benji BULLSHIIIIIIIIIT

no way. and then my mom is saying for him to take him and crap =_= bitch

I'm keeping him, if they want they can take the dog I never chose or wanted.

Because I finally was asked if I wanted this chihuahua right? =.= and I said I wanted but if they thought I was so irresponsible don't ask, cause I'm just automatically gonna say yes.

SOOOO they bought they wanna take away and give to my brother, well my brother can go buy his own. :D Pictures, Images and Photos

I'm taking care of Benji, and OFC when I'm at school I can't, But gawd, I will when I get home...

mother and brother....they really belong together :/ because I feel disliked by both.

Brother calls me EMO knowing I HATE that =___= mother complains OH SO MUCH about me...

they can both move in together in HIS apartment, and leave me alone.

I'll be so happy then.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

He leaned in slowly, just a few centimeters away from touching her...

"......" She stayed silent, staring into his sky blue eyes, with the moon light's reflection within them.

All he did was stay there watching her, keeping still and silent.

She felt his breathing against her lips, she gulped, not moving, but wanting to lean in.

She had fallen for him...

He wasn't sure what falling in love was...

She moved in just a bit, and suddenly he leaned in quickly..

their lips touched.

Right at that moment...

They wanted to be together forever...

With the red string wrapped around their fingers, and around their necks, symbolizing their relationship, their feelings....they are united.

Both the moon, and the sun, together.


Parents got in a fight at 3 AM how wonderful.

I guess mom was complaining about being hot and crap and that's how it started out. (her and her menopause v-v)

and then I'm not if she started complaining about me and my father, but I'm guessing that's what she did. She came to my room, waking me up, and asking me to go sleep with my dad so she can sleep in my bed to turn on the ac.

I just woke up a bit annoyed, cause I hate when she sends me out of my own bedroom xD

So went to dad's bed V_V and when he saw me and I saw him, he was like dressed to go out, and soon as he saw me started saying in spanish stuff like "mira etta.." which is uh...kinda hard to translate...but he was speaking towards mom, basically saying like "look at this woman" xD and stuff cause she went to sleep in my room.

he got pissed and they argued, and he told her not to come on saturday and sunday and that he's tired of her complaining about us. yada yada same old crap xD.

then he left the house. I called him after I woke up asking where he went, said he went driving around, then went to work.

V_V my dad can lose it at times, and i think it's better he doesn't drive when he's angry.

things happen.

Friday, May 22, 2009


Come Back To Me - Utada

Come Back To Me - Utada Hikaru

The rain falls on my windows
And the coldness runs through my soul
And the rain falls, oh the rain falls
I don't want to be alone

I wish that I could Photoshop all
Our bad memories
Because the flashbacks, oh the flashbacks
Won't leave me alone

If you come back to me
I'll be all that you need
Baby, come back to me
Let me make up for what happened in the past

--Start Chorus--

Baby come back to me
(Come back)
I'll be everything you need
(Come back)
Baby, come back to me
(Come back)
Boy, you're (one in a million)
(Come back)

Baby, come back to me
(Come back)
I'll be everything you need
(Come back)
Baby, come back to me
(Come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million)

--End Chorus--

Lower east-side of Manhattan
She goes shopping for new clothes
And she buys this
And she buys that
Just leave her alone

I wish that he would listen to her
Side of the story
It isn't that bad
It isn't that bad
And she's wiser for it now
I admit I cheated
Don't know why I did it
But I do regret it
Nothing I can do or say can change that (Come back)


Everything I ever did
Heaven knows I'm sorry babe,
I was too young to see
You were always there for me
And my curiosity
Got the better of me
Baby take it easy on me

Anything from A to Z
Tell me what you want to be
I open my heart to be
You are more priority
Can't you see you've punished me
More than enough already
Baby, take it easy on me

(Baby... take it easy on me)

Baby, come back to me
Baby, come back to me
(Come back)

**Chorus x2**

La-La, La Laaa
La La, La-La La Laaa
La La, La-La La Laaa
La, La, Laaa

Back at school!

I went back to school again todaaaay wasn't so bad.

My dad wrote letter for my absences....and he accidentally wrote HE instead of SHE.

thanks dad, didn't know i had a penis -.- the teachers just laughed as they read XD

OHHHH WEEEEELLL my spanish teach asked why don't I just add an 's', I'm just too lazy, let them laugh so I can laugh at my dad's silliness as well XD


had award ceremony today and I got school spirit award o.o (wish I had one of the most improved but V_V...)

We did our skit and it actually turned out pretty good...O: everyone was so doubtful cause no one was cooporating xD

we then had slideshow of pics throughout school year, i kept saying omg everytime i saw pic of me e.o hate myself that much xD but made me tear up and practically cry, felt like it was goodbye already XD

and we said our favorite moments, then teachers said their fave moments.

they said how they truly love the times with us and how they truly care v.v

made me happy.

I also wanted to post my latest poem on heeerrrreeee. :E here goes:

So Much For Being Myself?

The chains hold me down, making my wrists bleed from so many attempts of getting away.

Crying with anger I think of all my friends, feeling this is the last goodbye.

"I am sorry, I am so sorry..."

apologies that last forever echo among the walls.

All I ever cared about has disappeared, falling through my fingers.

I regret it all, why did I do it?

What did I do?


I couldn't stop crying....

so they left me behind, with my tears.

Because no one likes anyone who can't love themselves.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Woke Up Today annnnd...

I felt weird~

-eating a sandwich mom got me atm-

:E munchmunchmunch

bleh, i also feel weird eating now :s

must be the sickness.

ah well. got messages from mikeeee yaaaaay 8D

made me happy, cause she wants to sing a song for me, and would like me to sing a song as well. i probably will when i get better, just for her xD.


i gotta reaaaaad and studyyyyyyy or i fail tests tomorrow. and i fer sure don't want that to happen.

teeth are starting to hurt again, its the chewing of gum.

gonna have to stop that habit and soon v.v


i guess that's it for now...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Lately I've...

Lately I've been thinking...

My brother was meant to be the girl in this family and I was meant to be the guy 8[

kinda weird eh? lots of people who are reading this might say wtf?! queeeeee!! Pictures, Images and Photos

hahaha xD well since I happen to be BISEXUAL always have feeling might have been better to be guy? probably wouldn't be so weird, but even then I would still be attracted to both sexes, so no win there, just same shit other way around xD

ahhh, makes me feel so weird, kinda like when RHONDA DEAR said in garden today how I'm always bored being a girl avi on imvu, and one day gonna not wanna be girl at all or some shit like that. i wanted to curse her out personally but kept mouth shut xD cause when saying shit like that, its like, if you dislike it so fuckin much, don't bother listening to what i say or watching what i do, or paying attention to me at all.

for all i know, she can go suck my imaginary dick, i don't give a damn xD

yah I got pretty pissed and didn't show V_V and when i said I kinda felt that way already in real, people did react like "...ok?" and "wtf"

So I felt like world's freak in there.

So much for being me?

Lions and Tigers and Bears Oh My!

I think Blogger likes to be an arse when it comes to staying as one type of font for me!!

DX ah well, the shit can go suck balls.

Well, woke up this morning, feeling bit better than yesterday :x Not burning or freezing or not able to swallow without pain x] so I'm getting better! Medicine I got truly works 0.0


I got some new Coldplay songs that my english teacher Ms. Walsh had on her ipod :O she has good taste in music...even though Coldplay is pretty much all I heard on her ipod in class XD

4shared is being an arse as weeeeell -kicks it- won't properly download the song Joona put on his blog DX and the other two I downloaded from his blog aren't found anymore >:E

I'll try figuring out that problem later~

for now I guess I'll just be reading threads about the almighty great SHADOOOOW

I'm out!

-peace- peace Pictures, Images and Photos

Monday, May 18, 2009


I feel like crap....-sneezes for the 20,000 time-

Today went by quickly, lots of stuff I gots to do.

I got a 90 on my bio quiz x] made me happy as hell. So it raised my grade from F to C.

Not much but still a big change, gotta work on meh math as well
. In school there's this policy crap about using the bathroom. now we gotta go to main office sign notebook put time and get key in order to go to bathroom. I told mom and dad and they both told me I should write letter so I'm going to.

Why should the students walk to the main office, to get a key, to use the bathroom -__- would probably pee on ourselves by that time.

I'm feelin sick again as well, runny/stuffy nose, sore sore throat, headache now.

I'm off to bed, I wanted to go to bed at 9:40 pm, ending up going to bed at 10:30 now.

I'm gonna be so tired....

-sigh- when I wake up first thought will be -> "another day of feeling like shit....time to get on with it..."

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Seven Years by Saosin

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Sorry Sorry, Didn't post for a day xD...

Was too tired yesterday to come online...and I went to doctor today cause of my leg and I was tired to go to school so I used leg as excuse xD

It really does still hurt at times, and the blood is goin down to my foot and crap.


I gained 60 pounds ._______. ...............


so many dots I know, but I just got so angry with myself. I wish there was some pill that would actually burn my fat away in like 3 days. Then I could be a size 1 :D or 2...maybe even size 10 or 6! :DDD.

Sadly all the pills in the world won't help me. I gotta be serious about my exercise this summer or I'm done. And my anemia might get worse cause I haven't been drinking my iron pills :s nurse or doctor (whatever she was I couldn't tell) said I have to drink my pills if I don't wanna get shots and blood taken out (like today....I'm scared of needles so when I get them I panic and cry)

She also mentioned that if I don't take them, I will get headaches and start forgetting things.

Lately that happens at times. Number one thing I forget -> take my iron/medications. And I get headaches at times too...

-sigh- I'm on verge of leading this to cancer mom says.

Lady told me that if I don't take my pills my cells won't get the oxygen they need.

V_V so I gotta take my pills everyday now. If I don't I'm in trouble.

gosh and so many notes to finish for hw since I fell asleep while doing them in bed. x_x

I'm getting stressed out, and I'm so tired DX

I just hope I can survive before it's too late!

Mission #2:

work hard for the GRADES (sadly not the money just yet, that starts in june after regents week) so yah :s

wish me luck

Peace Pictures, Images and Photos

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


On field trip to Bronx Zoo, Mr. Wilson took meh cell phone and ipod >:O

But trip was pretty fun I guess....except the lab part -__-'''

we saw monkeys makin love!! XDD

they go so fast o_o was like 5 seconds of humping then they went back to eating bugs off each other o_o

i got my cellphone and ipod back from teacherjerk after end of trip >_> stayed a little longer with Kasha and took train ride there with her :D then went home with xD

sun affected me pretty bad and allergies gettin to me. Itchy on face and arms from being out in sun without suntan lotion on x_x and sneezin a lot.

uuuugghhhh why can't we have a day off tomorrow XD i wanna stay in and sleep...sleep aaallll daaaaay looooooong.


sleep is what I need.

Monday, May 11, 2009

field trip tomorrow yaaaaay

"she may believe you but I never wiiiiillll....never again!"

ahhhh, I've been singing since I got home xD

that was never again by kelly clarkson that I just quoted.

OH GOSH long day, drowsy all day cause of my cough/asthma medicine. I forgot the shit makes me shaky and tired and weak, and i was wondering why I felt so at school xD since I took it in the morning, it affected me. Luckily was just till lunch time.

I got notes to finish taking in global - . - ughhhh notes are making me tired and I'm gettin lazy. Parents went to JCPenny and got me capris for school and some summer shirts. Made me happy x]

But then dad started arguing how he knew the one pair of jean capris that didnt fit me, would not fit me xD oh gawd. and mom said calmly ok and dad just went on arguing and then arguing with me saying he knows how to buy me clothes XD I just kept saying in spanish "yeah yeah ok ok, its over" and he just keeeeeept goin xD I was laughing at in my head whole time. He kept on for while so i asked if he was on his period, time of the month thing. xDDD he probably ignored or didn't hear.

Tomorrow's dad's birthdaaaaaay. Old man's gonna be 63 ^(0.0)^ and people keep telling me that he's like their grandfather/grandmother's age. I have such old parents XD

And tommorow I got field trip to Bronx Zoo (yaaaaaaay) I hope I have fun xD and I hope I get away with taking my cell phone, camera, AND ipod.

Will be so sad without. ;^;

bleh. Mom's gonna do my hair in morning cause she misses her little girl oh so much.

I hope I have fun, and I hope a friend of mine who just went through some hard shit is gonna be ok. I will pray for her. v.v I want her to be ok and happy, hopefully things go well for her after this inccident.

-peace sign-

peace Pictures, Images and Photos

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Yah I know...

Kinda late yeah...xD


yaaaaaaah....gots lotsa work to do!!

I'm doin my global homework tomorrow xD I won't finish it quickly, takes time.

ahhhh, I'm so itchy!!

I went outside in sun for while and since I had no suntan lotion, sun has affected meh skin~

Now I'm itchy as hell! XD
gotta buy suntan lotion!
and do global homework tomorrow!
and get presents for my parents' bdays!
and raise my bio and math grades AGAIN

gosh long list...

so first thing to do.....



Friday, May 8, 2009

SO SEXY SONG -thumbs up-



It is friday!! :DDD YAY!

finally! been so tired all week from school XD
was all the rain v.v

Today went pretty ok, apparently I'm ok with Kelvin?
He tapped my shoulder, and gave me his notebook, open to some comic book story he drew. He basically was saying sorry in the comic story. ._. and apparently he knows I get jealous when he acts all lovey over Kasha, since he drew me thinking "there he goes all gaga over Kasha again" TT__TT such embarrassment...

Before he apologized I was upset though, because today Kasha took his side as well, just like Paola did, saying I could've waited. But if they had let me leave earlier, I might have caught the 2 or 3 train, instead I missed it soon as I got there. Luckily my parents weren't pissed that I got home 10 minutes late.

Argh, whatever! I'm not gonna stay pissed at what people agree on and shit, not worth the stress.

Day went by pretty fast, but we're having preparation crap for regents exams, I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA FAIL DX!!! It's so hard to remember shit I learned in September!!


Gonna be really hard, and got this binder thing to do with English, and another binder thing to do with global as well! so much work! x_x

Hopefully I will be able to cope with all this. I have my moments so..

Went to book club for first time again in like moooonths. They were reading "Yes Ma'am" by Langston Hughes, I love that short story a lot. Used to read in elementary. Then I read my poem to them, cause Ms. Walsh got me toooo, I couldn't even explain it because it was hard to explain! XD MORE EMBARRASSMENT!!!


Went to McDonalds with Kasha afterwards to find Paola, Ana, Jasen, Alexus, Sheniece, and Leonela there xD trying to hide from us! I ate with them, and spoke with them, then left eventually after eating. Started getting stomach pains like cramps in the bus, and hurt like hell! So when I got home I went to bathroom, and solved the problem xD


I'm gonna try to have a good weekend, get mom a card for mother's day and for meh grandma's as well. I want no fighting this weekend!


I'm home now, no more pain, wished meh girl a happy bday, and now relaxin I guess with music and speaking with my friends. :3

Almost end of school year so gonna get stressful, gotta prepare myself and learn to take it easy~~

otherwise, my head is gonna explode and I will be done! xD


Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride of the end of my first year of high school.

These years are truly going to go by fast.

Thursday, May 7, 2009





Yaaaah, rained again today xD

yeaaah sad morning sad day, was still upset from what happened yesterday so was all emotional today.

I don't know if me and him are ok at the moment or not -_- but whatever...

Katie and Allison had their last day at my school D'''': (they were college students having their time at our school in preparation to be guidance counselors or something within that category.)

I'm going to miss them so much TT___TT Made me cry today xD

I even had to stand out in the hall way after hugging Katie to calm myself down from so much tearing up, but I ended up crying about both situations - the prob with my friends and the goodbyes with Allison and Katie.

and then suddenly Sammy was there passing by in hall and saw me! 0.0 I got embarrassed and probably blushed too >///>

She got worried and asked what was wrong I just smiled while trying to not cry in front of her shaking my head saying "I didn't want to be noticed..." and "It's nothing don't worry"

Leonela saw me as well and asked what was wrong along with Sammy D:

.__. I just hugged them saying not to worry I'm ok. Sammy kept asking if I was sure, so I nodded and smiled saying not to worry again that I'm fine xD. Sammy's so nice~~ <3
Later on I saw her again after school, and was speaking with her, again she asked if I was ok and if I was sure I was ok xD

I nodded then she asked if i was lying and I said "yes" x_x I can't lie to this chick! XD

she just stared at me with that look of hers that made me giggle xD I told her I would have to speak to her later about why I was crying if she wanted to know that badly since the person was like right there 3 feet away from me >_>

So she just stood there saying ok xD. then she asked if I wanted her aim :DDDD I GOT SO HAPPY!! I just lit up saying "you have aim? you have aim?!" and she nodded and I told her how I looked her up on facebook and she said she doesn't have one and I said I knew since I looked her up hahaha xD

So we gave each others aims, and smiled ^__________^ <333333333 X]]]]]]

She's so cool :DDD after that I had to meet with the leaders of the sophomore student council and two other members of the freshman student council (which is the one I'm in since I'm a freshman and joined xD)

We're planning out the carnival we're having with their council next saturday after the new coming students tour. So I'm participating as always x].

Gonna be fun! after that I said bye to Sammy who was helping Eni with her work, then went to Kathe's room to do some homework and spend the last few minutes with Allison and Katie before they left. D''': I got their emails to stay in contact, so no goodbyes forever <3

was pretty ok day in the end x] got meh mom a mother's day present (some really cute book thanking her for things she did xD) hey no matter how many probs I have with her, she's still my mom and deserves a gift.

I hope things stay well for the weekend :3

lalala~ I will get back to doing my homework now xD

tah tah till tomorrow!~!~!~!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

So...Much...Sugar Honey Iced Tea


Oh my freakin' gosh -____-

so much crap HAD to happen today.

I woke up tired as hell and i went to bed earlier than past two nights.
I wanted to go to early bus but missed it, and almost missed the 2nd one.

We had to take annoying Kaplan test in English, and ITS COUNTING AS A GRADE i didn't even get to answer the last few questions.

In gym Sinjin kicked me when I was trying to steal ball from him in soccer (was accident, BUT FUCKING GAWD THAT HURT) =___= therefore i went to him after game and kicked him back, so he could feel pain since he didn't even apologize. Then he got pissed saying he was gonna "deck" me, therefore i said go ahead whats gonna happen.

He said I'm gonna die, I smiled saying that I would be oh so happy about that.
We almost started a fight but Jarissa and Cynthia (I think? I don't remember) stopped us before it started.

theeeen, got so much crap to do in student council.

AND THEN (yah I know, lots of thens) had to go to regents prep thing after school and i remembered nothing! I already feel I'm gonna fail that regents!

After that I did some homework in Kathe's room (guidance counselor's) then went to mcdonalds with kelvin, kasha, cynthia, and Paola. When I finished I realized was 5:40pm, and I try to be patient for the others cleaning up their shit, but I couldnt wait cause I knew time and my ass would get busted for staying so late, so I said I really had to get going, and left.

I wait for train then see Paola and Kelvin come down, kelvin looks pissed so I'm wondering what happened and Paola was like smiling, so I called her, since they passed by as if not seeing me, and asked what was wrong with him, he turns around and looks at me like "as if you don't know" then continues walking ahead.

Paola said it was because what I did was wrong, and I asked what the fuck I did. She told me he's mad because I left. So I said that I did inform them that I really had to go, and Kelvin said "WE ALL HAD TO GO" so I said "well yer not one who can possibly be punished and never allowed to stay after school again" and he said "well Kasha got in trouble a few times, you didn't care"

THAT COMMENT WAS SO FUCKING STUPID, because Kasha happens to be my best friend and he tells ME I don't care? so I said "First of all, I did care." I forgot what i said after that -__- get so pissed I forget stuff.

We kept bickering and shit while people stared cause a fucking douche bag with nothing else to do but cause problems between me and him, and not understand a damn thing.

Then 3 train came, so I was waiting to get on it, and he said "Oh and you can go tell Kathe Cause I'm not even gonna give a damn" or some shit like that. And I said "I'm telling no one because I don't need to. At least, I don't gossip." and he just said "uh huh, yeah right"

I wanted to take that little midget by the neck, squeeze it, punch him in the face afterwards and push him into the tracks. LUCKILY I held myself and said 'forget it, it's not worth it'

That little shit needs to learn to understand what the fuck goes on around him, and that even though we all had to leave, some of us have to leave before others because we can not waste time! everyone else would understand that BUT him.

I hope he goes to hell, and that the fucking devil rapes him, then feeds him to his devil dogs.

Maybe this way he'll understand not to act like a 2 year old.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Ya know...

I NEVER write a daily blog, and I think I'm gonna start doing so. Got something to do when I'm bored now! I guess xD

I usually just go on my English teacher's blog for creative writers, which is where I post all my poems.

I started thinking, and thought if I made a blogger, should have my own blog about daily life as well right? Maybe my best friend influenced me...(yes you Joona!) XD

ah well, here's to a new beginning, cheers!

-claps to self, grinning greatly-