Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Such Hatred

Bleh.

Mother rages,

grandmother complains of,

father rages.

the whoooole cycle of talking about the dislike of the behavior of one person in the house that is considered, quote on quote, "fat shit"

yeeees meee. ofc, since I'm the only wrong thing in here.

Whyyyy did they have me if they were going to hate me so much?

Why am I even still LIVING?!

YES i sound fucking suicidal, who gives a shit

ya know, I really can't stand it. The bullshit I have to deal with each day of my life, for years, and years. Next thing ya know, I will pay someone to shoot me. Let them cry their eyes out, then smile the next day, happy that I'm gone.

So...I love the Internet...because I actually have friends who CARE and don't hurt me, people in real life, let me down, I'm surprised I even made 2 best friends in real, and now we can barely see each other.

The people I've met online, I've come to love. I can't NOT speak to them. I go crazy, I break down, and just break everything.

Its sad. I wish I was truly happy with my life, and I have the feeling its going to be hell until I leave where I am now.

my summer has been officially ruined...

because apparently, i can't go to my concert. I can't have Internet, I can't have a new cell phone, I can't get anything if I don't get skinny, I can't get this, i can't get that, I can't go there, i can't do this.

then..?

what was the point of happily waiting for the time to finally have fun, to be let down, AGAIN

over shit that really doesn't make much sense to be mad at me for?

Lemme NAME you guys this time, oh lovely family members of mine

One of you is: A bitch with an anger so uncontrollable, I will one day throw something at your head just to see if you shut up.

Another one of you is: A gossip whore who needs to get over the fact you aren't royalty. You also need to realize just how much your words can hurt, because gossiping and exaggerating the truth just causes more problems, and the shit you say breaks apart relationships that don't need anymore abuse.

The other one of you is: A Coward. The bitch says something, and you take her side, but when she's not looking you agree with me. The gossip whore says shit, and you automatically believe! I'm not surprised though, SHE IS YOUR MOTHER, THE FUCKING LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. 'oh if she dies, I die too!' Are you married to her or something? I wonder what she'd say if knew that you say she drives you crazy as well.

I wonder just when this will stop? AHAH probably never. Such beautiful people right?

I hope when i leave, they suffer. And if they ever...EVER beg back for me, I will ignore their calls, because all they've given me is lies.

'i love you' ?

Those are words that slip out your mouths with no feeling at all. the truth is, you're saying 'i hate you'

Because I've heard your conversations...I hid within the dark, where you couldn't see me, I've heard the names you've called me, and the things you've considered me, and just how much "love" you have for me.

I just want to say thank you

for never caring about my feelings at all.

____________________________________________________

You are the angel of Courage.You run into things head on, but not blindly. You never bow down to your enemies, and protect your friends no matter what. You very fun to hang around with, and you drag your <span class=

1 comments:

Kat said...

I love yooou Alex <3 Ignore what them assholes say, your friends will always be here for you :3