Thursday, August 13, 2009


I would like to know

What is it about me that people hate so much?

Yah know, was supposed to get my hair done with Chasity today.

Now guess how long I waited to find out she came then went back home without even bothering to come to my dad's store to see if I was there?

4 and a half hours.

4 and a half fucking hours, I sat in my dad's store, actually WORRIED that something happened.

Boy was that bullshit. I called Elyse and she called Chas's house for me.

And what do yah know, she came, and didn't know if I was home or at the store, so tried calling me (i missed it, but I couldn't call back cause of some caller ID shit.) then decided to go back home and wait for me to get online.

WTF, she could have checked if I was home by calling out my name in front of the house, my grandmother would've told her to go to the store, where I was waiting.

Apologies, apologies. But this happened too many times already. Both her and Elyse always keep me waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Today I felt that it was the last straw. If you guys are such good "friends" of mine, fucking prove it.

I've had people act like friends to use me for years, and years, and they've all betrayed me!

That's why I feel having friends in real truly isn't worth my time, I should stick to family members and online friends.

I just finished crying in front of my dad saying I'm always betrayed, I've been betrayed my whole life.

And it's true.

I can't believe I even waited, thinking she'd come to the store, I should have gotten my hair done without her. It hurts, because I thought her and Elyse were my first true friends.

My parents themselves knew before me that they aren't true friends.

Always planning days with me, then coming 2 hours later then the time we planned, or not showing up at all, or planning days and then telling me about it later and I wonder why I wasn't invited.

They can all go to hell, I'm not treated as a sister, considering they call me their sister.

Fuck "friends" my only friends are here, on this computer through the internet, and they'll be the only true ones I'll ever have, if even THEY consider themselves true friends.

I'm amazed, saddened, angered, just sick and tired already...

I'm tired of being the nice girl and being treated like this

am i some piece of trash you play with when you're bored?

Then you wash your hands to just forget about me, only needing me when necessary...

just go wash off memories of me, forget we ever met, cause I see now...

No one ever fucking cared.


Kat said...

Arsewipes >=/ We love you Alex~ <3333