Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Big Brother

Woke up,
washed my mouth,
turned on computer,
said hey to my big brother. -_-

Maybe I should've never signed into AIM today!

I decided to sign in, and say hey to my bro, being first to say hi instead of the other way around. And just awesome, his questions of how I'm doing with my ears and all spread into a conversation of my depression -____-

We started out sort of arguing over the fact I don't want to take pills to be happy. I'm just gonna post parts of the convo -.- too lazy to write out whole convo myself..

Arekusandora225 (12:29:34 PM): he suggested medications for depression
Arekusandora225 (12:29:49 PM): and i didnt say it to him, but i told mom later on i wont
shadowdragonwb (12:30:03 PM): Like I said why not
Arekusandora225 (12:30:26 PM): those medications have been known to cause a lot damage than good..
Arekusandora225 (12:30:34 PM): *a lot more damaga
Arekusandora225 (12:30:38 PM): *damage goodness..
shadowdragonwb (12:33:16 PM): How would you know
shadowdragonwb (12:33:26 PM): they havent even prescribed you a drug yet
Arekusandora225 (12:33:48 PM): well...idk, i guess television stuff affects how i feel about it
shadowdragonwb (12:34:24 PM): what television stuff you have no idea what you are talking about
Arekusandora225 (12:35:45 PM): ...okaaaay. mom told me you had to take something and go to see someone, but I'm still not taking drugs to become happy. if im put to go talk to someone i'll be okay with that, but im not taking any pills..
shadowdragonwb (12:36:38 PM): You are being ridiculous
shadowdragonwb (12:36:55 PM): you have no reason not to
Arekusandora225 (12:37:04 PM): alright billy. i am being ridiculous, but its still my body.
shadowdragonwb (12:37:17 PM): yeah and you should do whats best for it
shadowdragonwb (12:37:25 PM): which means
shadowdragonwb (12:37:38 PM): you should take the prescription and do therapy
Arekusandora225 (12:38:05 PM): maybe i believe thats not whats best for it, maybe I believe that will just make me worse, maybe i believe the talking alone will help me from keeping all these feelings stuck inside.
shadowdragonwb (12:38:28 PM): Well maybe you are wrong considering you have no experience in this
shadowdragonwb (12:38:37 PM): are neither a doctor
Arekusandora225 (12:39:23 PM): why is it you talk like you know everything billy....I don't want to cause you to be angry, but I feel like you want this your way, whatever YOU think is best for me.
Arekusandora225 (12:39:47 PM): mom is actually supporting me and understand why i dont want to take drugs to be happy..
shadowdragonwb (12:39:57 PM): Listen to me
shadowdragonwb (12:40:11 PM): are you dense to the situation around you
shadowdragonwb (12:40:34 PM): First of all you have a genetic pre-disposition to mental illness and disorder
shadowdragonwb (12:41:01 PM): dont you see the history especially on the maternal side
Arekusandora225 (12:41:48 PM): ..yes..
shadowdragonwb (12:41:48 PM): Did you neglect to remember that
shadowdragonwb (12:42:04 PM): Now do you know what the biggest problem has been
shadowdragonwb (12:42:11 PM): They all think like you
shadowdragonwb (12:42:23 PM): No pills No pills
shadowdragonwb (12:43:04 PM): and look how fan-f-ing tastic they all are
shadowdragonwb (12:43:20 PM): Is that how you want to be in the future
shadowdragonwb (12:43:52 PM): You need a combination of therapy and a regimine of XX prescirption
shadowdragonwb (12:44:00 PM): the prescription will rebalance you
shadowdragonwb (12:44:18 PM): get you into a normal rythm
shadowdragonwb (12:44:32 PM): When you are back on track you can easily stop
shadowdragonwb (12:44:39 PM): So stop being so damn stubborn
Arekusandora225 (12:44:47 PM): ...
shadowdragonwb (12:44:56 PM): or do you prefer the other option


shadowdragonwb (12:47:54 PM): and yeah I dotn know everything but I think considering this was my field of study and I also experienced it first hand I am a little more educated than you in the topic
Arekusandora225 (12:48:46 PM): yes yes...we all know that.
shadowdragonwb (12:49:07 PM): Well then you think I would make you do something harmful
shadowdragonwb (12:51:41 PM): well
Arekusandora225 (12:52:25 PM): ..no, i dont think u would make me do something harmful..
shadowdragonwb (12:52:42 PM): well
shadowdragonwb (12:52:44 PM): then
shadowdragonwb (12:53:21 PM): Dont you want to feel better
shadowdragonwb (12:53:31 PM): about not only yourself but life in general
shadowdragonwb (12:53:42 PM): why would you deny yourself that
shadowdragonwb (12:59:22 PM): ?
shadowdragonwb (12:59:25 PM): Are you there
Arekusandora225 (12:59:35 PM): yes im here..

and that's how it ended. now he's away at lunch I'm guessing -.-

and I'm still not taking any pills, mom should have never opened her mouth this time, always telling my bro wtf is goin on with me as if he even lives with us, this was something we should've kept to ourselves. Just cause he took pills for his depression doesn't mean I have to -_-

He talks like he knows it all, and he doesn't. Just cause he studied this stuff doesn't mean he knows more about how I FEEL.

x_x I think I'm gonna avoid AIM for a while...

Might be going to the store soon...gonna discuss this with mother dear -_-

bye byez


Kat said...

You know, depression pills don't actually cure depression, they just make you high constantly so that you won't feel down .-.

αrєkkusu said...

yeah, i dont want them for that reason xDDD