Thursday, October 1, 2009

I hate it.

"I hate it..I hate it..I hate it...when you're not around, when you're gone..."

Joona got me addicted to that song, I hate it by ELLEGARDEN

Reminds me soooo much of my gf.


. . .

I mean EX..

I keep saying gf! Pisses me off.

I keep thinking its not over until she responds. NO ALEX, ITS OVER!

GET
IT
IN
YOUR
HEAD
!
!!!

.___. gooooosh. Rainy days this week got me moody, and I keep feeling like crying a lot lately but I only tear. That's another thing that gets on my nerves.

I even wanted to cry in art class today cause Gia pissed me off saying I'm a cow, was just joke but I got pissed. Not gonna detail whole thing that occurred which got him saying that. But that brought back the teasing of those few years back and well, he's lucky i moved my seat few feet away, I would've hurt him if I didn't control myself.

Like I did to Yan other day -___-

dunno if i talked about it here o_O

some girl from class came into spanish saying round our table it smelled like ass, and I had put perfume before class started because I came from gym and I feel its necessary to do so after wards. Then Yan pointed to me saying "it's this chick" and I looked at him, GLARING

asked "excuse me? but what the hell did you just say?" and he just smiiiiled like idiot, and he knew he was in for it. then he started saying oh you put perfume on and I'm like since when does perfume smell like ass?? i put perfume to smell GOOD not like ass LIKE WTF WENT THROUGH THAT HEAD OF HIS?

I got so pissed, I was practically on top of him speaking into his ear angrily, loud and clear. then I slapped back of his head. Twice. 2nd time was more of a punch...

I can get so violent, when he looked at me saying "that really hurt" and rubbed his head was when I realized shit I just did.

I felt guilty looking at him. then teacher caught us after class before we could even get out of room, and I guessed he saw, but I didn't know he did with all the ppl standing, talking and crap, it was pretty loud in the room at that moment so..

He asked us to explain what had happened, Yan went first, then I went, and he said he never said it was me =_= the fucking liar. BUT I CORRECTED. then teacher basically told me i can't put hands on other, then maybe others shouldn't open their stupid mouth and think first.

and said shouldnt hurt others and Yan was all "OH YOU KNOW ME, I'D NEVER HURT ANYONE" that got me glaring again, and teacher told him that he doesnt know ANY of us so well just yet, so he cant judge anybody. I was so glad teacher said that to him.

now that I remember, I think I only told joona this xD

but anyway yeah

been thinking about mikee a lot, feeling like crying a lot, been really sleepy...a lot.

STRESSED OUT a lot.

and

today

I found out

when checked grades online

I have 3 Fs

3 Fs....


...........................

That pisses me off.

That makes me stressed out even more.

That makes me wish those Fs were As.

and that, is making me pray and hope, that I will get them UP THERE before november comes, once november comes, I'm in trouble.

cuz thats when 1st semester goes bye bye. So don't got much time before first report card.

Please pray for me and hope I do well, and that my lazy ass, and slow, stupid mind, gets those grades up.

I really...seriously...should buy a box of confidence..

Know anyone who's selling?

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