Monday, November 30, 2009

Rainy Days~

Zomg, today's monday and its rainy and rainy days make me sleepy D:

Weekend was okay, i went to mall saturday, enjoyed my time there.

Sunday I was down D:

I found out that my high school isn't like OFFICIAL high school of the college it states it is of.

-_- that really pissed me off, because this whole time I thought I was in Hunter College's official high school, I'm actually just in one of the branches of Hunter's schools.

And then I finally realized the choice I made this weekend over my high school in 8th grade.

I made such a wrong choice.

I at first really wanted to go to the art high school, Laguardia. (website: http://www.laguardiahs.org/ in case you wanna check it out)

and this is movie I watched about the school -> http://www.laguardiahs.org/magic_movie.html

But thing is, in 8th grade by the time I got the high school book and read about Laguardia, I was too late for the audition. Had no preparation time, and wouldn't be able to get an audition day anyway since the dates were over. So I put the high school i go to now on the list of schools I wanted to try getting into.

AND IDK WHY, BUT I GUESS I WASN'T THINKING STRAIGHT IN THOSE DAYS

I chose a school that mainly focuses on science and math. My two worst subjects.

-__- and when i thought about it yesterday I finally realized what a stupid mistake I made. I don't belong at this school at all. I'm failing almost every class here!

I mostly chose it cause it's the high school that leads to the college I would like to get into.

When I was watching that movie of laguardia, dad saw and asked what I was listening to, and I told him, and he said that I should have thought of that when I was choosing what schools to go to. Because I chose this school just because it leads to hunter college, and that's where my bro went, and that would please my mother, for me to follow his foot steps. But what I needed to do was follow what I wanted to do. Not my brother, or what my mother thinks is best.

He told me the straight up truth, and I just cried saying "I know, I know. I've made so many wrong choices in my life, and this was one of the worst. Why do i always make wrong choices? I always make the wrong choices.."

I cried for a good 45 minutes over all this information coming down on me.

All this time passes, and I realize NOW what I had done. It pisses me off, and saddens me.

And whats worst is, i was hoping and praying that my counselor would tell that yes I could transfer when i asked her if its possible at this time, or for my 3rd year to transfer there.

She shook her head slowly, saying no. I just stared at her repeating no..I would've cried right there...but I didn't even know what to do, or how to react. Then I bumped into my english teacher from last year, Ms. Walsh, and started speaking with her, then my counselor apologized and said though that we can find a way to fit in the things I want to do, and went back to her office.

I walked back to Kathe's office, and sat down and Kathleen saw me (I spoke to her about all this before I went to my counselor Beth) and before she could ask, I shook my head saying bad news. And I told her that Beth said no. and she watched me saying, "she said no..?" and I nodded.

then I said that i just don't wanna be at this school anymore. I really don't...I don't belong there at all...

Then I went onto the laguardia website on the school comp in Kathe's office, and looked under 'contact us' and decided to email one of the secretaries to ask if I can transfer, just to see if there's still a possibility, with asking the ppl at the school itself.

and I'm hoping...there's some chance of me being able to transfer...but at the same time I doubt it will happen..

I'm just going to keep praying T_T

if only I did this when I needed to!


Inní mér syngur vitleysingur
~


1 comments:

Kat said...

Reminds me of The Carpenters song o.o

"Rainy days and Mondays always get meee doooown~"