Friday, January 22, 2010

played. streaming. buffering. paused. played. stopped.

been so emotional this week.

it's killin me.

my dad came home upset yesterday cause apparently mom told him the only reason she's still around is because of me, cause im not grown up yet. and that if it wasn't for me she would've been gone a long time ago.

I was shocked when he told me this, shocked because she would actually say that to him not even thinking of how much those words can hurt.

then he got pissed at me cause I apparently answered with an attitude last night while he asked for the toilet thingy for grandma and I said something like "well idk what I'm saying either" when he asked where it was and where i said it was or something like that x.x

then he started yelling at me saying I'm just like mom and that he doesn't need my help so he sent me up to my room.

Pretty stupid cause I didn't even intentionally mean to respond with "an attitude"

today he started saying how I should move in with mom and grandma cause he can't take it anymore and just needs to go else where with my grandmother and yada yada yada yaaaaa

I told him I'm not going with her. I'll just go to my godmother's place, or to my aunt's, or even to my brother's place.

he said I'm too young and someone needs to take care of me and that has to be my parents cause no one else is gonna take me in and I told him repeatedly that I would instead go kill myself so no one has to deal with me, because living with her would be living in hell, with the way she talks to me, takes her anger on me, I wouldn't survive.

I'm about to start crying again.

anyway, the good stuff today was michael walking me home, I got to introduce him to my parents first at dad's store then he came over and met my grandma, let him meet my dog as well xD

it was funny cause kippy kept tickling him when playing.

we drank apple juice together, then showed him my room, and ipod touch, he played rockband on it for a bit, then he played gh world tour on drums, then i joined him on guitar when I found batteries for the other remotes.

we sang together while playing xD

and I kept playing with his hair during breaks cuz it's just so fuzzeh >w< but he's getting it cut this weekend as always so no more fuzzehness on monday.

We had fun, dad appeals of him, mom embarrassed shit outta me though -_-

when we were at the store she shook his hand and said to him "Michael?" he nodded, she continued, "Ohhh Michael, you're a handsome one"

and I twitched, cause I really, REALLY, did NOT expect that.

they were playing dominoes and dad said to her to pay attention and then he joked with michael saying "look what you're doing to my wife, don't take her from me" and he laughed

mom then said something like "I wouldn't mind he's very handsome" -.-'''

She went STRAIGHT ON flirty e____e SICK MAN, SICK.

dad thanked michael for walking me home and mom had called him a gentleman for that x.x

when we left to go to my place he said "that had to be the most flirtatious moment I've ever been in"

I was so embarrassed.

luckily he didn't mind.

now i miss him cause he's like the kinda guy bud i always needed inrl. v.v nice, a gentleman indeed, and just plain easy to talk to :I

this morning i had said something about leaving the school cuz stupid security guards made me throw out my water bottle cuz it was unsealed -.-'''

I got pretty pissed considering its required for me to drink water, 5 bottles a day at the least.

and I freeze mine so it can last longer.

but anyway, when I said that he said no, and i said why no one would miss me anyway

and he said that's not true, that he would v_v

"yes." and he smiled at me warmly.

he's always smiling xD gawsh

makes me wonder if he's ever frowned, i've only see him be serious at times, but no frowning whatsoever.

ooo, i got new mangas btw.

it's been a while.

got four-eyed prince yesterday, read it yesterday, it was funny and good.

and got dramacon today, finished it almost an hour ago, it was really good, i wanna continue buying the other books to the series for both of them. four-eyed prince i think is a pretty recent one though, cuz there was only copies of 1 at barnes n noble, and also it mentioned on one of the pages that i could go to some site to check out when the 2nd one comes out.

well i guess that's about it now.

gnight all, im gonna head to bed