Sunday, February 28, 2010

Song for the Numb

I once felt pretty
I never felt ashamed
I once felt crazy
But that was all a game
I never treasured
A friendship such as this
I never measured
The meaning of a kiss..

And now you've fallen! You're crawling back to me!
And now I'm crying, cause you were so fake with me!
I can't believe this, these useless words and fears!
And I'm forgotten along with all my tears...

I never once knew
The way you truly felt
You never seemed to care
You barely even helped
When I was crying
I called out your name
But you just figured I'd come back the next day
I bet you never thought I could even stand alone!
I bet you thought I'd come running to your throne
Your throne of dead flowers
And all your lies and fears!

And now you've fallen! You're crawling back to me!
And now I'm crying, cause you were so fake with me!
I can't believe this, these useless words and fears!
And I'm forgotten along with all my tears...

And now you've fallen! You're crawling back to me!
And now I'm crying, cause you were so fake with me!
I can't believe this, these useless words and fears!
And I'm forgotten, and I'm forgotten, and I'm forgotten,

And I...

And I....

And I.....

And I......

I am numb...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

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Tuesday, February 23, 2010



please comment!

(me singing)

Monday, February 22, 2010

pretty wings

"Your face will be the reason I smile, but I will not see what I can not have forever.."

Your feathers were so soft, your pretty wings..
So beautiful, so right, so wonderfully comfortable.

Those eyes looked at me lovingly,
and gave me a sense of this lasting forever.

Holding you...I feel the love sink in deeply.
I never want to let go..wish we could stay this way forever.

Me, caressing those pretty wings...
Long as you don't fly away I am happy.

"..let love set you free to fly your pretty wings around.."

I have to learn to let go though, learn to accept the fact it may happen.

lifting into the air slowly, hovering above me asleep,
your hair hanging down, softly passing through my hands...

those pretty wings eventually learned how to fly..and grew..

question is, shall you stay hovering over me...or shall you slowly fade away..

taking my breath away with you...


your pretty wings...

those pretty wings...

the part of you...I may not understand...but can learn about eventually...if you let me.

"...fly your pretty wings around"







inspired by the song Pretty Wings by Maxwell, quotations from the song.

Pretty Wings by Maxwell lyrics:

Time will bring the real end of our trial
One day there’ll be no remnants no trace
No residual feelings within ya
One day you won’t remember me.

Your face will be the reason I smile
But I will not see what I cannot have forever
I’ll always love ya
I hope you feel the same.

Oh, you played me dirty, your game was so bad
You toyed with my affliction
Had to fill out my prescription
For the remedy
I had to set you free.

Away from me
To see clearly
The way that love can be when you are not with me
I had to lead
I had to live
I had to leave
I had to love

If I can’t have you
Let love set you free
To fly your pretty wings around.

Pretty wings, your pretty wings, your
Pretty wings. Pretty wings around.

I came wrong you were right
Transformed your love into a lie
Baby believe me I’m sorry I told you lies

I turned day into night
Sleep till I die a thousand times
I should have showed you better nights, better times, better days
And I miss you more and more

If I can’t have you
Let love set you free
To fly your pretty wings around

Pretty wings, your pretty wings, your
Pretty wings, Pretty wings around

So Pretty wings, your pretty wings, your
Pretty wings, Pretty wings around

Say Pretty wings, pretty wings,
Pretty wings, Pretty wings around

Darlin,Darlin, Pretty wings, your pretty wings, your
Pretty wings, Pretty wings around

Pretty , Pretty , Pretty
Pretty wings, your pretty wings, your
Pretty wings, Pretty wings around

Someone better is gonna love you
Someone, Someone is gonna love you baby

Pretty wings, your pretty wings, your
Pretty wings, Pretty wings around (x4)

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I love you...

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Saturday, February 20, 2010

David Choi Concert

omg :'D

I saw David Choi tonight!!

it was awesome :'DDDD

i loved it <3 and he sang my fave song by him too :''''D

"Love" look it up if you want ;D

I couldn't stay after to meet him though -.- cause of Andra's damn parents wanting her home by 10 pm. and he said would give hugs and his shirts and albums and autographs and take pics with people ;_;

;________________; now must wait till next time he comes to be able to do so...

NEXT TIME IM GOING ALONE EITHER THAT OR WITH DAD! even if he does act gay x''D

ooo while david mentioned that he'd give hugs and kisses xD one chick yelled that she wanted a hug and i yelled that i wanted a kiss x'''DDD and he said "well, I probably won't go to that point but...still love ya :'D"

XDD ahhh he's so nice would love to see him again in a year or so.
was a nice show indeed.

well, might upload show to youtube, i got most of it, when he was the one up there of course xD his bff Chloe i think is how its spelled, opened the show.

She had a great voice o: I was mostly there for him though xD

and when i yelled that and looked at Andra her mouth dropped open rofl, then she said I'm crazy.

xD hey i warned her when i first met her that i was! so she can't complain! xD well thats about it. will post pics tomorrow, though they arent so good.

oh wait and here's a little raging at my relationship.



Ya know I fucking love you. IF I HAD THE MONEY I WOULD GO TO YOUR HOUSE AND BRING YOU BACK WITH ME!

Like wtf is this silence all about if you're online, isn't first time you've done so!

c'mon!

I sit here missing you, fucking missing you everyday

AND YOU DON'T EVEN MSG ME

WHY THE HELL ARE WE TOGETHER THEN?

just for show?

just so we don't seem lonely or something? come on, give me a break. message me, tell me you love me first for once, be the one to message first for once! hey you have a girlfriend remember? IT'S ME

I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU

I DID!

I FUCKING FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU ONCE I MET YOU!

I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT?

i fell for you...I DID...i wish you would at least try helping keep this relationship alive. I'm not my own girlfriend. You're my girlfriend. YOU.

I fell in love with someone that's amazing. And this amazing person makes me wonder if they even REALLY want this. I wish I could hold you right now but you know I can't. You know if i could, i would be on next flight there. You know it.

So please stop hurting me like this...and say those three words as much as I say them to you...

just say them...message me...tell me about how you're doing, ask about me if you want, then say those three words...make me stop crying like this, make it stop

Make this silence stop.


Ok, done raging. I'm off to sulk.

laterz.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Omg I had a dream with kitkat last night xD

We were on some cruise ship right

And I got hyper singing wedding dress by Taeyang.

I was dancing around singing so loud xDD and kitkat laughed at me

All that started cuz I saw BigBang on the ground next to our ship dancing and singing that song.

I went nuts xD was so fun though.

Goes to show just how sexual and hyper kitkat gets me rofl XD

She is mah candy after all :'D

Ok that's it
Laterz xD

Monday, February 15, 2010

Dirty Candy.

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Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Art Is Slowly Coming Back.

Bride To Be.

Bride To Be

Freedom.

Freedom

Cloudy.

Cloudy

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Do The Panic

I'm sick again boooooooo.

Omg tomorrow is the day of love

oh joy x.x

That means grandpa's birthday. So since I probably can't go to visit him and my aunt at the cemetery, I'm gonna go to the church for him after my parents come back from their lovey dovey breakfast e.o.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii will ofc be alone this valentines, as always.

what's that? do I still have a gf?

well YEAH but she's never on v.v

so there won't be any love for me xD

v.v siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh I wish she would at least msg me

saw her online on fb earlier this week and i messaged her but then she went away, in the end I never got messaged back.

drives me crazy, but what am I gonna do.

I need to go over there and rape her.

anywho~

I'm getting sleepy since I'm sick oh no Dx

got so much body ache, time to time headaches. Not eating much either.

scares me a bit. Though the less eating thing I'm proud of.

I was gonna try getting these things called "slimshots" and its like some lil drink in a cup and its supposed to help with keeping you from being hungry for 8 hours and helps with losing weight o.o

but when i went to site you gotta order and for like a supply of 2 months its 60 bucks e.e and I haven't found a store that sells them yet, but I get the feeling that I shouldn't get them.

I've read comments, most say the taste isn't great and only read like 2 or 3 comments of ppl saying it didn't work for them.

v.v ok alex -smacks self- snap out of it

I don't wanna get tempted into trying a bunch of stuff for my weight.

ahhhhh im turning 16 soon Dx i feel old.

i want a lot of stuff I can't get just YET xD

like like like...PLAY STATION 3 TTT___________TTT WITH BIOSHOCK 2


UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WISHIHAD300FREAKINBUCKS

v____v

I am so buying no more heroes 2 when it comes out right after my birthday though >8D that game looks SOOO fun

its funny too x'D

dad's gotta come buy it with me though ;o since its rated M lmao

@0@ hm hm hmmmm

my ipod acted dumb today so had to restore

i think its cause i accidently pushed it off my bed in my sleep xD cause i fell asleep while talking to vikki and vince

funny how their names both start with v right?

haha

VAGINA

anywayz

I guess thats about it for now.

I need a life.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Obstacle 1

Hey hey everyone :o haven't posted in a while again.

the other day I was thinking of listing things I rage at.

And now I've forgotten the number 1 thing I wanted to post on here that I rage at xD

well lets see...

I hate when people talk to me like they know how I feel.

Example: Was talking to some "friends" inrl I go to school with about my weight prob right and how I was feeling, then Rebecca decided to say "Well Alex, if you're so unhappy, why don't you DO something about it."

And I just suddenly got pissed and told her "It's not that easy when you got people telling you everyday just how fat you are and make you feel like you can't do anything right"

and I continued on saying how I can't really afford a gym right now and then jasmine said exercise at home and I said my problem is I have no confidence, Rebecca said something after that e.e I ferget what.

But yeah, I just raged, and in the end said look lets just stop talking about it now. I guess its cause I can't stand to hear the truth.

Another thing that gets me going, doing things that annoy me constantly knowing it annoys me. xD

example: Kemar at school, ALWAYS interrupting me when he sees I'm speaking with someone -.-'' rude much?

sounds like 2 year old

"alex alex alex alex alex alex alex alex -pokes 300 mother fuckin times-"

What else...

When people -COUGHMOMANDDADCOUGH- try taking some of my food when I'm eating and hungry.

Now when I'm hungry, I'm angry xD

and that anger won't leave till I've finished eating and I'm full.

and dad likes trying to steal my fries and such at times and I end up smacking his hand and glaring and yelling "stop" and alalalala

x'''D and then whats funny is they decide to get mad at ME when they are the ones causing the issue!

HULLO? STOP TOUCHING MY FOOD AND MAYBE I'LL STOP PISSING OFF?

Another thing...like on imvu, when people automatically get called noob cuz they don't have other clothes besides imvu's stuff, or cause they look like they are a noob, or cause of something they like, etc. that's not their whole personality xD

if they ACT like a noob, thats different story. Some can be annoying and all, but others are pretty nice.

once you actually start talking to them.

I also dislike when...example: someone says they hate their mother or father or sister brother whatever, and then others tell them they shouldnt.

We don't know what that person goes through, they have a reason o.o

like I was in the old garden yesterday, and this guy i recently met there said his mom was a bitch, and this chick I met there too recently called him a jerk saying that he shouldnt be like that with his mom and that he's mean and evil e.e

and I'm just sitting here reading all this and then tell them ya know, back off, we don't know what he goes through, he has his reasons.

and he was all "THANK YOU AREKK, THANK YOU!" xD rofl

anywayz i think I'm good with the rage stuff.

I made an account on that question site o: since I see kat and jesse and lizz on there and it looks pretty fun sooo.

here's my link :3

http://www.formspring.me/biflowerpot

ask me some questions and i'll be glad to answer :D

hmmmm this week I kept breaking up and then getting back together with Mikee. lawl.

I went from:

I dont think I can take this anymore Dx

to:

I'm sorry i take that all back forget it

to:

ok I wanna know where this is headed cause it seems like we're not even really together considering we can barely talk and idk if i can rly continue like this its killing me

to:

ugh forget it again. I love you too much.



lmao, im such a freakin idiot xD

in the end I'm always running back so idk why the fuck i bother!

when she reads all those msgs she's gonna probably cry again V_V then stay calm again and start apologizing like crazy xD

I understand she's got school n junk, but I wish my relationship was kinda like Jesse's.

Speaking to her everyday would be REALLY nice. Way it used to be.

but then NEW SCHOOL decided to fuck with me -.-

uuuggghhhhhhh

whatever, I gotta be patient.

I love her, and wanna stay with her, question is can I really survive this v_v.

meeh.

I swear I need to go over there >:I wish I had the damn money, AND WISH HER PARENTS LET HER COME HERE.

ahhhhh ok anyway xD

watch this dance :O its sexy



wish I could dance like that. I don't remember if I showed this on here already but xD oh well.

That's all for now! OH and got 2 new drawings, but i'll scan them tomorrow or something, laterz. :3

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Suicide?

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”

“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.”

“I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”


ROFL XD